And I am not liking it very much.
It’s been almost 3 months since I quit my job I absolutely hated. And 3 months back I thought, finally, the bad time has passed and it’s time for a new beginning.
I was wrong. I was so wrong.
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Before I took that dreadful step, I did all I could do to prepare myself over the course of 2 years. I read up about tons of successful stories, watched hundreds of TED talks and took a screenshot of every motivational post I came across on Instagram. Oh, I took practical steps too, obviously. Like save as much money as I could, wait until I finalized a deal with a good agent for my first book and lastly, draft a rough plan for the future along with a back up (in case I fell right on my face!).
I was ready. Mentally and practically. But in less than two months, the anxiety started kicking in and reality hit me like a damn truck!
As every single day passed, I became more and more anxious. Instead of striving for what I really wanted to do during this personal sabbatical, I ended up wasting time on job portals due to family pressure. Instead of reading more books, I ended up running in circles in my mind. And to be honest, I haven’t been really writing either because…I just don’t feel like it! After all, I had to devote my precious time in overthinking. Blimey!
I knew this was coming. I knew I’ll have to face these days filled with stress, confusion and self doubt. Also for few days I did exactly what I SHOULDN’T have done in this self-evolution/life changing phase.
I started comparing my journey to others and just ended up feeling bad about myself.
Now I know all my friends are moving forward with their life because no one really bothered to stop and analyze if they are on the right path the way I did.
But here’s what shifted my mind and made me write this blog.
Just few days ago my best friend said to me, “No one gets anything by playing safe”. We were on a completely different topic but such powerful words fit into any circumstances; that’s their power after all! And after I applied that quote on my current situation, I realized that if today anyone gives me an option to go back to my previous comfortable life, follow the path others are following, I wouldn’t take it. Because they don’t know yet what I know.
This unknown path that looks scary at first, leads you to where you truly belong.
Even though I know the road ahead is very difficult and still pretty vague, it’s surely worth following because it will give me the freedom I’ve always craved for. And there’s absolutely no need for me to compare my journey with others. After all, it’s my path, only meant for me. Others got literally nothing to do with it, and vice versa.
Look, I know it’s not easy to quit everything and dive into the unknown without even proper skills. All I have is my inner compass to guide me further and enough self belief in my pocket. Though I keep losing touch with them from time to time, I know for sure that slowly but surely, I’ll crave a path for myself which will lead me to the kind of life I’ve always wanted.
Also, if I don’t give it a try now, then when?
The process never changes. It’s difficult now, it’ll be difficult later too. I’ve come wayyyy too far, so I can do nothing else but keep moving forward. And I hope you do the same. Till then, to whoever’s on this kinda journey with me, let’s keep going!!
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